id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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