So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
