Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i now understand why vodka
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize