life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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