Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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