she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
