Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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