how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
