No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The best revenge is premature balding
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
