So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
