You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Randomize