I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
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It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Alive.
So much puke
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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