Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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