he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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