Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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