i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
