just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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