he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
