I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize