Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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