S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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