he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
