i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
