dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
