you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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