i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
