Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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