he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My cat gives me a boner
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize