She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
