marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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