covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
