I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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