I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
