Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I could fuck to npr.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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