Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
