If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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