who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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