so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have fence marks all over my body
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
