TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
