We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize