But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
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