We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
