no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
