I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize