Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
