ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
