Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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