I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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