i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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