Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
