Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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