non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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