so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
