Define "chronic" masturbator.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
