My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
